The Sermon on the Mount: Interpersonal Conflict

In the sixth in his series on the Sermon on the Mount, Pastor Shane unpacks how Jesus asks us to deal with interpersonal conflict, and move toward reconciliation.  Click here for the recording of this 2/16/25 Service, and you can fast-forward to 23:03 to get to the start of the sermon.

Our text comes from Matthew Chapter 5.21-26

21 “ You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘ You shall not murder,’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be answerable to the court.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be answerable to the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘ You good-for-nothing,’ shall be answerable to the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. 23 Therefore, if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there you remember that your brother has something against you,

24 leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. 25 Come to good terms with your accuser quickly, while you are with him on the way to court, so that your accuser will not hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you will not be thrown into prison. 26 Truly I say to you, you will not come out of there until you have paid up the last quadrans. “

Introduction…

• In this passage, Jesus teaches about personal relationships, and how we are to manage them, in particular, anger and conflict

• There is nothing that has damaged the US Church more than the sin issue of unresolved anger and conflict, whether it be in the pulpit, or the pew

• It is cyclical- churches don’t seem to learn from a past history of bad anger management; thus we lose people, momentum, money

• The world then looks at us and tells us we are a joke; to some extent, they are right

• Every church I have ever pastored, or attended, has displayed anger dysfunction; it is part of the fall

• It is easy to get mad at each other; it is much harder, and with a much greater payoff, to work through anger to reconciliation

v21-22

• Jesus ups the ante significantly, from murder, to verbiage; from actions, to words

• In v21 He quotes the commandment against murder; you take a life without justification, you are answerable to the court of judgment

• In 22, He raises the stakes, from action, to thought/words

• Sin so often starts between our ears

• He calls this person a brother, adelphos, 4x; whether you see your adversary as a sibling or not, Jesus does

1. If you are angry, orgizo, with your brother, you are answerable to judgment

2. if you call your brother a good for nothing, you are answerable to the supreme court, Sanhedrin

3. if you call one a fool, (moros, OT nabal, without God) you are in jeopardy of Hell

• In essence, you are opining on someone who is made in the image of God

• “There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it ill behooves any of us to find fault with the rest of us.”
  - James Truslow Adams

• The only way any of us can see the good in some of us, is with the help lf the Lord

Notice the progressive nature of conflict

Sin Consequence

1. Angry with your brother answerable to judgment

2. Call him a good-for-nothing answerable to the Sanhedrin

3. Call him a fool (Godless) in jeopardy of Hell (Gehenna)

• Conflict often escalates

…notice the progression

• If you are looking for a way to be offended, you’ll generally find one

• Much offense is rooted in a lack of logic; people are often illogical, ex- “two hundred and none of…”

• People’s feelings are real, even if they are illogical

• Innocent and vulnerable people are often caught up in conflict, and suffer from it

• There is an answer…

V23-24

• If, when we enter into an act of worship,

• we remember that someone has something against us,

• we must pause our worship, and

• attempt to be reconciled (diallassō) to our brother, and only after that we are to

• move forward with our act of worship

1 Jn 4.20 If someone says, “I love God,” and yet he hates his brother or sister, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother and sister whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 

Reconciliation

• Reconciliation is so important to Jesus that He is asking us to interrupt worship to attempt to be reconciled

• The goal is reconciliation, rather than winning the argument, or even agreement on the issue

• Reconciliation requires both people to lay down their egos

• Paul- Rom 12.18 “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people.”

v25

• Again, the goal is reconciliation (“come to good terms”), if not agreement, with your accuser quickly

• So  that it does not escalate

1. From judge

2. To officer

3. To prison

• Again, conflict often escalates

• You will not get out of prison until it costs you everything you have

• Often, a lifetime of damage is done because one or more parties refuse reconciliation

*How this plays out in our life

1. I (Pastor Shane) publicly confess to and repent of any and all part I have played in the offense of others, both recently and in a lifetime of ministry, and ask forgiveness from Christ and to the extent possible, the offended

2. LMSD (Longstanding, multigenerational, spiritual dysfunction) is often at the root of interpersonal conflict- “the sins of the fathers…”

3. Christians are often at fault in conflict, and use the Bible as a weapon rather than a tool of reconciliation

4. I have rarely seen a church learn from its past mistakes; they are most often cyclical, with a loss of people, community influence, and money; When will we learn…?

5. Pride is the mother of all sin, and at the root of most of our interpersonal conflict

6. Getting mad or “hurt” is easy; reconciliation is work, and it pays off

7. If you don’t heal from the wounds of  your past, you will bleed on innocent people around you, most often the ones you love the most

8. Satan does not fear a large church; he fears a united church- Dobbins